The 5 Marriage Patterns
Your Most-Used Strategy Right Now
OBSERVER
When things are tense or uncertain, you respond by pulling back and observing, holding your engagement until it feels safer to step in.
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The 5 Marriage Patterns
Your Most-Used Strategy Right Now
PEACEMAKER
When things are tense or uncertain, you respond by reducing friction. You value calm, stability, and keeping things from escalating.
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The 5 Marriage Patterns
Your Most-Used Strategy Right Now
CARRIER
When things are tense or uncertain, you respond by picking up what isn’t being handled. You value reliability and tend to carry more so things don’t fall apart.
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The 5 Marriage Patterns
Your Most-Used Strategy Right Now
CONNECTOR
When things are tense or uncertain, you respond by increasing engagement. You value closeness and believe connection comes through conversation and emotional openness.
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The 5 Marriage Patterns
Your Most-Used Strategy Right Now
BUILDER
When things are tense or uncertain, you respond by moving toward action. You believe progress comes from deciding, initiating, and keeping things moving forward.
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Learn about the Marriage Source Model
The Marriage Source Model (MSM) is the framework behind your quiz results. It helps you recognize how you show up in your marriage, and what can shift to move from isolation to unity in your relationship.You’ve got two ways to explore the model below:
1. Brief Overview (2 minutes)
What it is. Why it matters.
A quick walk-through of the Marriage Source Model: the sources, behaviors, and destinations. Ideal if you're short on time or just getting started.▶️ Listen to the Brief Overview
2. Deep Dive (15 minutes)
How it works. How to use it.
This fuller teaching explains each part of the model in detail. You’ll hear practical examples, how to spot your default story, and how to use the model in everyday marriage moments.▶️ Listen to the Deep Dive
Thanks For Taking the Quiz!
Your responses identify you as a:
DOER
(You'll see what that means in just a moment)
📧 What happens next:
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We’re excited for you to dive in and discover what’s possible in your marriage.
Thanks For Taking the Quiz!
Your responses identify you as a:
PEACEMAKER
(You'll see what that means in just a moment)
📧 What happens next:
In a few minutes, you’ll get an email from us that includes a special link to your full results page where you’ll see your profile and next steps.
If you don’t see the email, please check your junk or spam folder, and be sure to whitelist [email protected].
We’re excited for you to dive in and discover what’s possible in your marriage.
Thanks For Taking the Quiz!
Your responses identify you as a:
BUILDER
(You'll see what that means in just a moment)
📧 What happens next:
In a few minutes, you’ll get an email from us that includes a special link to your full results page where you’ll see your profile and next steps.
If you don’t see the email, please check your junk or spam folder, and be sure to whitelist [email protected].
We’re excited for you to dive in and discover what’s possible in your marriage.
Thanks For Taking the Quiz!
Your responses identify you as a:
OBSERVER
(You'll see what that means in just a moment)
📧 What happens next:
In a few minutes, you’ll get an email from us that includes a special link to your full results page where you’ll see your profile and next steps.
If you don’t see the email, please check your junk or spam folder, and be sure to whitelist [email protected].
We’re excited for you to dive in and discover what’s possible in your marriage.
Thanks For Taking the Quiz!
Your responses identify you as a:
CONNECTOR
(You'll see what that means in just a moment)
📧 What happens next:
In a few minutes, you’ll get an email from us that includes a special link to your full results page where you’ll see your profile and next steps.
If you don’t see the email, please check your junk or spam folder, and be sure to whitelist [email protected].
We’re excited for you to dive in and discover what’s possible in your marriage.
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The 7-Day Marriage Reset
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The 7-Day Marriage Reset
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Day 1
Name Your Source
Insights
Every marriage flows from a source.
Your behavior is a clue to your marriage source.
You can’t fix behavior until you shift your source.
Questions
When you look at how you’ve been showing up lately, what does that reveal about the source you’re living from, your commitment or your default story?
Instead of trying to fix what’s not working, what new source could you choose that would naturally change how you respond?
Action
Take five minutes tonight to name your current source out loud, then name the one you want to live from this week. Write both down where you’ll see them each day.
Day 2
Slow Down the Story
Insights
A default story feels true, but it’s just familiar.
That story is your brain’s way of staying safe.
Slowing down lets you see your story instead of living inside it.
Questions
What’s been shaping the way you show up lately: default story or commitment?
If you chose commitment today, what would that look like?
Action
Write your default story in one sentence. E.g., “My spouse blames me for everything.”
Day 3
Choose Your Commitment
Insights
Commitment is who you choose to be, not how you feel today.
Feelings change; choice steadies you.
You can’t drift into commitment. You have to choose it.
Questions
Who are you choosing to be in this marriage, regardless of your spouse’s response?
How would your tone or presence change if you lived from that choice?
Action
Say this aloud: “I choose to be a spouse who…” (and live it).
Day 4
Look Before You React
Insights
Unity grows when you look at your part first.
Curiosity disarms defensiveness.
Being right rarely builds closeness.
Questions
What pattern do you see in how you react under pressure?
What might change if you got curious instead of certain?
Action
Before you respond today, ask: “What’s mine to own right now?”
Day 5
Move Closer, Not Away
Insights
Distance feels safe but deepens disconnection.
Moving closer doesn't mean giving in, it means staying open.
One small step can shift the whole tone.
Questions
Where have you been waiting for your spouse to go first?
What would it look like for you to move toward instead of movign away?
Action
Take one small step toward connection, e.g., a text, a touch, or a calm start to a hard talk.
Day 6
Contribute Don't Control
Insights
Control protects comfort; contribution builds connection.
You can’t force unity, but you can create the conditions for it.
You’re responsible for what you bring, not how it’s received.
Questions
What are you trying to manage that isn’t yours to control?
What can you contribute today that reflects who you want to be?
Action
Do one act of care with no expectation in return.
Day 7
Keep Creating Unity
Insights
Unity isn’t found; it’s built.
Drifting always leads to isolation.
Small, steady choices create trust.
Questions
What shift this week felt most natural or most freeing?
What daily habit could help you keep living from commitment?
Action
Commit to one small practice you’ll repeat daily. E.g., pause and rehearse your commitment before you respond.
Thank You!
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